Halloween

We went Trick-or-Treating with some friends (Alana was a princess, Alexander was her prince). AC made the costumes: for Alexander, an inherited tux with gold ribbon down the pants, gold fringe on the shoulders, a turned-up collar, a tinfoil-covered BK crown, and a red sash to match his sister worked great. For Alana: a beautiful white flower-girl dress, tights, and shoes; a red satin ribbon around her waist; a sparkly pink cape and wand; and a satiny red conical hat with a chin strap and a streamer of pink material from the cape.

Keith was the carriage for Prince Alexander when he was too slow to keep up with the older kids. Both kids managed to do a good job saying "Thank you" all night. I spent most of the time bringing Alexander up from the rear, by which point the older kids had collected their candy and were ready to head for the next house. Toward the end of our evening, I realized that Alana was engaging in conversation with each candy provider. I thought nothing of it, until I saw one woman leave her husband at the door, go inside, and come back with some alternate selections. I pushed forward to see what was being said.

Apparently, at each house, it had gone something like this:

"Can you tell me what this candy is like? I don't really like chocolate, unless it has peanut butter. Then it's my favorite. Do you have any like that? That's my Daddy's favorite, too. I'm getting some candy for me and some for him. My brother likes everything."

Mortifying...and yet, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups really are my favorites, and Alana did manage to get them more than anything else. We did have a little discussion about how nice all these people were to be giving away candy and that it was our job to take what we get and be thankful for it, but I'm not sure it made much impact.

Meanwhile, at each house, Alexander would wait until offered candy, and then he would drop the piece he'd taken at the prior house into his bucket, take the new piece, say "ankou" when prompted, and take up the new piece.

Test of Wills

My parents tell me a story of when I was a young kid:

I was misbehaving, and my father told me to behave. To express my displeasure, I got down on hands and knees and banged my head on the floor (gently). My father gave me a little swat on the bum, and told me not to do that.

I banged my head a little harder. He swatted a little harder.

The escalation continued until I'd had enough, at which point I WHACKED my head against the floor, stood up and looked at him, then turned and walked away. Guess I showed him!

Well, Alexander shows a similar stubborn streak. He started screaming angrily about something the other day (with a murderous look in his eye), and I'd had enough. We *never* give him what he wants when he's screaming, so you'd think he'd already have learned that it's a waste of effort, but I think part of it is an outlet for his frustration at his inability to explain what he wants...not that that's a good enough reason for a tantrum.

I took him to the corner, and explained that when he was ready to talk I would let him go and we could leave the corner. 40 minutes later, after struggling with me THE ENTIRE TIME, he literally was so exhausted that he passed out in my arms. Several times during the episode, I asked him if he could stop crying. He would say "mm-hmm" and immediately stop crying (like a switch had been thrown). When I then asked him if he was ready to talk so we could leave the corner, he started screaming again. He knows I'm serious when I tell him behavior is unacceptable, and I know he'll learn that this doesn't work. That day cannot come soon enough!

Want to Stand in the Corner?

Standing Alana in the corner as punishment works pretty well. Standing Alex in the corner as punishment doesn't work at all. Maybe he's too young, but it doesn't really phase him.

The reason I say this? The other day when AC called him, I told him to go see his mother. He ignored us both. He *never* comes when we call him. This bothers us both (When you call the kid, you want him to come IMMEDIATELY. It's not a power thing, it's a chain-of-command thing…if the kid's in danger, you want him to respond instantly without questions--best chance to get him OUT of danger quickly).

Finally, I asked if he wanted to go stand in the corner, and he immediately said “Mm-hmm” and walked over to the corner himself! Clearly he wasn’t feeling punished . Equally clearly, he was hearing (and deliberately ignoring) every word that was being said!

Xander

Alexander is now saying thank you, pointing at things he hurts himself on and saying "ow". "Ice" (rice) and "cheese" (when camera pointed at him) were two of his earliest words. He's such an Asian kid! Prefers much more exotic and flavorful dishes than Alana, though I seem to remember that of her at this age, too.

Alexander is perfectly happy to wander off without us as long as it's on his terms. If we call him, he ignores us. If one of us walks away and he wants us there, though, watch out! At night, if I take him to bed and he knows AC is in the house, he'll scream bloody murder unless I threaten to put him in his crib. And even then, he'll ignore me until I physically carry him to the crib, stand him in it, and explain that his options are to sleep in the crib or to quietly go to sleep in the bed. THEN he'll go quietly to the bed and go right to sleep. We will have no slack--we need to be careful to only use threats and removals of privilege on which we intend to follow through if necessary.

Potty Training

Alana wore underpants all night last night, no accidents. She's been doing this with diapers for a while (undies during the day, diapers at night), but we've been too lazy to swap her over.

Underpants All Night

Alana wore underpants all night last night, no accidents. She's been doing this with diapers for a while (undies during the day, diapers at night), but we've been too lazy to swap her over completely.

Alexander is speaking more...

Alexander is now saying thank you, and pointing at things he hurts himself on and saying "ow" (and them mimicking what happened, or alternately pointing at where it hurts and the culprit...)

"ice" (rice) and "tzeese" ("cheese" when a camera is pointed at him) were two of his earliest words. He's such an Asian kid!

He also prefers much more exotic and flavorful dishes than Alana does, though I seem to remember that of her at this age, too.

Kids are Too Smart

After the kids had changed channels one too many times mid-program, we had a *brilliant* brainstorm. We pulled out old remotes that were still around, and gave them to the kids to play with. What geniuses! Now the kids would have their own remotes with which they could fiddle harmlessly all they liked.

To save you some time, note that remote controls which don't control anything are not interesting to kids beyond the first day (if they even last that long). And we're not the only ones to discover this...AC's cousins tried to fake their kid out the same way, with the same results.

Fake phones are OK--kids can imitate one side of a telephone conversation all day long. Alana often plays "office", imitating Daddy's business calls...which I have to say sound pretty inane when I get to listen to them as opposed to participating in them!

Alexander's Independence and Temper

Alexander is perfectly happy to wander off without us as long as it's on his terms. If we call him, he ignores us. If one of us walks away and he wants us there, though, watch out! At night, if I take him to bed and he knows AC is in the house, he'll scream bloody murder unless I threaten to put him in his crib. And even then, he'll ignore me until I physically carry him to the crib, stand him in it, and explain that his options are to sleep in the crib or to quietly go to sleep in the bed. THEN he'll go quietly to the bed and go right to sleep. We will have no slack with him at all. Note to self that we really need to be careful to use threats and removals of privilege ONLY if we're willing to follow through (yes, I know that's *always* true, but it can be extremely tempting to consider a threat that stands a good chance of working, even if you're not willing to follow through).

"Don't Do That!"

Alana was laying in wait outside the bathroom for her cousin Hana, who's about a year younger than she. When Hana came out, Alana shouted "Boo!". Hana looked at her and said, "Alana, don't do that."

Alana said, "Don't do what?"

Hana said, "Don't say 'Boo!' You might scare me!"

Pink

a friend: "Does Alana like pink?"
Keith: "I'll put it this way. When I do laundry, I do whites, darks, and pinks."
(...and sometimes purples!)

...and Repeat

We were listening to a kids' program on the radio one day with Alana. When the song ended, she asked us to play the song again.

We explained that we couldn't. "Why not?" (with an iPod as the main music source in the car, replaying favorite songs a couple of times is standard practice)

We explained that the radio consisted of somebody sitting in a room far away, playing the music they selected, and we just got to listen to whatever they picked. The look she gave us in response made it apparent that this was a thoroughly bizarre and silly concept!